Thursday, December 22, 2011
Merry Christmas
We're off to Temecula tomorrow to spend Christmas with the kids. This Christmas has not seemed at all like Christmas. As much as I have tried to keep it as normal as possible, it's just not and I guess I need to realize our normal is changing. I'm sure next year will be better. Happy trailer trash Christmas everyone
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Just arrived in Temecula to have Christmas with our family. Even though the kids are out and about doing their own thing, it finally feels Like Christmas. We played Christmas music, inventoried and wrapped all the gifts, now we're ready for Santa. I guess after all it is family that makes Christmas worth celebrating.
ReplyDeleteOur Christmas was wonderful. I was able to actually spend some time getting to know Brandon's girlfriend, Arianne and I have to say I really like her, she is sweet, kind and knows how to keep my son in check and they are so cute to watch. I think my Brandon is in love or as he would say "he wuvs her". I never tire of the excitement of children and how easy it is to get them there. I also had to laugh at how Chelsea, Matt and Brandon used Santa coming as a way to get Victor and Delilah to cooperate, hmm wonder where they learned that? Even though this Christmas was anything but normal we all had a great time. The rough spot was when we had to leave everyone behind and head back to Ventura. I think reality slapped me right in the face. I no longer was living with or even near my family. This realization threw me in to an emotional turmoil and I pretty much cried the rest of the day. Poor Ben, I think once it got to the point I could not breathe or stop crying, asking if I made a mistake, if I was going to be able to handle this it through him over the edge. Ben went to get us milk for our mashed potatoes for this damn Christmas dinner that my family would not be attending. Not 5 minutes after Ben left I received a call from Brandon and Chelsea and a text from Matt all reassuring me. Matt promised to visit at least once a month and advised me to stay busy and have fun. Brandon made sure I knew he would be fine and that he loved his mom, which is something I think he sensed I needed to hear. I felt bad making them feel bad for me. It's funny I know they will all be fine, it's me, I just don't know what to do without them, they have ways been there. Chelsea commented "mom, we will be fine. It's great you and Ben are getting a fresh start and mom, think about it, you and Ben were gone a lot when you lived here. She said now when we all see each other it will be more quality time. She made me stop and think and it's true, our time together will not be taken for grantit. I think I am going to really learn a lot about myself and my Children due to this huge shake up of what was my norm. I hope Ben can ride my emotional roller coaster while I adjust. Poor guy already has a lot on his plate but to date he has been very understanding and supportive.
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